Cleo Geladé: “Write a page of Queen Elizabeth’s diary”.
Today was a jolly good day. While I was enjoying my morning tea in the parlour, I got a ring from Conrad of the secret service. I acted surprised when he told me he was in a bit of a pickle. Absolute poppycock on my part, of course, as I keep track of all important state agents. Conrad informed me about the activities of a phony tea dealer. In the last fortnight, MI6 had intercepted millions of dodgy tea bags. Millions, good grief! Such a horrendous crime couldn’t go unpunished. I jumped up from my settee and rushed to the royal helicopter.
The view over sunny London was truly splendid. After I picked up the MI6 agents, we flew to the storehouse where the last crates of counterfeit tea had been found. Once there, the detectives kept rambling on about their dull investigation. Especially Conrad, the tosser. I made up an excuse about my old bladder and fled to the loo. While weeing, an odd sound came from the next chamber. I pulled up my knickers to do some investigating of my own, and golly gosh, how easy it can be! The tea swindler was simply waiting to be arrested. I kneed the bloody bugger in his privates and called the agents.
Yes, today was a jolly good day.